ELECTRIC EELS ARE NOT EELS

TAVISHI

I've been reading the Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson lately, and I've found myself much appreciating the in book animals- for example, the sky eels! However, to call sky eels eels is to call a cat an eel. Sky eels are very decidedly not eels. But this isn't the first example of betrayal within "eels". Take electric eels: which, are, not in fact, eels at all. Strangely enough, electric eels are the most well known eels. Then again, fish aren't really a thing either, but that's a taxonomic discussion for another time. Electric eels aren't eels. First, let's define what eels are. Eels are ray-finned fish belonging to the order Anguilliformes, and are mostly marine, with a few notable exceptions. Eels have no pelvic fins, and instead, have one large fused anal, dorsal, and caudal fin. This long fin is, on its own, not moved, but rather the entire body of the eel is undulated to propel the fishy forward. Some true eels include garden eels, moray eels, and rice paddy eels. One of my favorite kinds of eels is the garden eel. These guys just look so silly. Truly, I have no biological explanation for my preference. They just look adorable, and I enjoy that.

The traitors known as electric eels, however, are utterly different from real eels. Electric eels belong to Gymnotiformes, or and do not deserve the honor of being called an eel. First off, they evolved entirely separately, and just happened upon a similar body plan via convergent evolution. But there are some key differences that separate the two. Most notably, electric eels don't have dorsal fins. Instead, they have one long anal fin, mimicking the body of the true eel. And when electric eels swim, they don't move their body- just their fin, setting them firmly apart from true eels.

The unsung beauty of the true eel ought to be remembered, perhaps in ballad form. But I will task that to someone else. I believe firmly that Anguiliformes ought to retain its own sanctity, and not succumb to the alien invaders that threatens its integrity.

It's not just the electric eel that pretends. Take the Congo eel, which isn't even a fish, for crying out loud. The Congo eel is a SALAMANDER. They have LEGS. Although they are long, they are not eels. While they are pretty damn cute, they remain to be not eels.

And the salamander misnomers continue, as well. Take Typhlonectes natans, a species of caecilian commonly known as the rubber eel. T. natans may not have legs, being a caecilian, but it is still not even a fish. At this rate, any long animal which lives in water ought to be called an eel. Spaghetti? Eel. Aquatic annelids? Eel. Catfish? Eel. Respectfully: