PPAP: PONDERING PERFECTLY ALLITERATIVE PHROGS

Tavishi

2016 was the year the world was graced with the artistic masterpiece: PPAP, or pen pineapple apple pen.

To this day, I cannot actually answer any queries about this song. I cannot explain why or how this was so influential, iconic, and, in fact, incredible. But it was wonderful, and I, today, tribute to this timeless tune through the tried and true poetic device of alliteration and the amazing and adorable amphibious animals known as frogs.

And so, I, at present, present: PPAP, known better as Pondering Perfectly Alliterative Phrogs, a Kradigan post dedicated just to phrogs starting with the letter P.

First, the pretty pretty, perfect, poison dart frog!

Poison dart frogs are almost always aposematic in appearance (flashy colors fetch fear), and are generally found in tropical and humid environments. This is generally true of a large lot of phrogs, as is assumed from being an amphibian. Poison dart phrogs, from slimy skin, secrete alkaloid toxins most of the time. These toxins include, but are not limited to, the epic epibatidine and the beautiful batrachotoxin. Epibatidine is, perhaps, the most well known of the poison dart frog toxins; it causes paralysis as an agonist of the muscarinic and nicotinic acetylcholine receptors. Epibatidine's efficacy exceeds that of acetylcholine for these receptors, resulting in greater dopamine and norepinephrine release, and also, as a result, an analgesic effect. But batrachotoxin, before you believe it to be bad, brings about death; it, in fact, irreversibly opens sodium channels, resulting in excessive depolarization and paralysis!

Next, the pixie frog, pretty prodigious in proportions, the second largest frog in the world, is otherwise known as the African bullfrog. The pixie frog carnivorously consumes quite anything it can fit in its mouth: from a rancid rat to their tiny tadpoles. Pixie frogs are also known for becoming dormant during dry desert-like conditions, a phenomenon called aestivation.

Pacman frogs, all species belonging to the genus Ceratophrys, found foremost in South America, are not noteworthy video game blobs. However, Pacman frogs are known for a super strenuous strong bite. Pacman frogs are also massive, just like the pixie frog, but not nearing them in size at all. Fat females are much more common than massive males. Commonly kept captive, pacman frogs can cannibalize friends and then, consume you.

Purple phrogs, native to India, can barely be called purple at all. The frogs, in fact, appear a ghoulish, ghastly, gray. Perhaps purple phrogs pretend to possibly be purple. Similar to the pacman frog, purple frog females are much larger than males. While previous p phrogs pondered by me have been voracious beings, purple frogs stick usually to insects and little critters under deep, dark, dirt. Purple frogs have this strange, snaking snout similar to that of an anteater in both function and appearance. Unfortunately, purple frogs are an extremely endangered animal because of habitat threats to their tiny tadpoles. As tadpoles, purple frogs have tiny sharp leech-like suckers which allow them to stick to surfaces and graze greedily on grass-like algae.

Purple frogs look like some strange amalgamation of a variety of animals that I can't quite put my finger on. Simply put, purple frogs pretty much like super stupid. They're round, oddly-shaped, and more blobfish than phrog.. their eyes are too small, their head too hard, and their nose more pig.

And as abstract and odd as they may appear, purple frogs, are.. strangely endearing. Maybe it's the little tiny feet, but I think they are ugly-cute. Thus concludes my perfectly pleasant alliterative post.