CETACEAN PARTY

Tavishi

Contrary to popular belief, I do like non-pinniped marine mammals. I just prefer pinnipeds most of all. I think pinnipeds and otters are my top favorite marine mammals, followed by sirenians (manatees and dugongs), and finally, cetaceans (dolphins and whales). I have been accused, however, by certain people who KNOW WHO THEY ARE, of not liking cetaceans.

I do love cetaceans. My first love for marine mammals started with whales, followed by dolphins. I quickly found my way onto the right path when I discovered pinnipeds.

Starting this off with some taxonomy, because cetaceans. Cetaceans are the group of marine mammals including dolphins and whales. The group of cetaceans is split broadly into two parvorders: Mysticeti and Odontoceti.

These two categories are defined by their dental history and evolutionary divergence. Mysticets are the baleen whales, including, but not limited to, your humpbacks, blue, and gray whales. Odonticets, on the other hand, are the toothed whales. This group includes, dolphins, porpoises, orcas (which are dolphins, bee tee dubs), sperm whales, narwhals, and belugas. Confession, it took me a scarily long time to discover that narwhals were real. I thought they were like unicorn dolphins and were only made up for that one song (I can't find a trace of it, but I swear this song was real.)

HIS ASS IS NAWT REAL!!!

Anyways. So for some godforsaken reason, cetaceans are technically, ungulates. I have known the word ungulate my whole life because it was one of my Nana's favorite words. He was a man who loved horses, so it made sense how much he used the word.

Ungulates are hoofed animals- so like horses, donkeys, pigs, etc. Ungulates are grouped into even and odd-toed. In the group of even-toed ungulates, there are camels, pigs, ruminants (deer, cows, sheep, etc.), hippos, and then cetaceans. This all comes down to cetacean evolutionary history, which I believe can be best encapsulated here:

pakicetus my man

Okay, down to the meat of the post. Here are some of my favorite cetaceans, what song reminds me of them, and also, a fun fact! COMMON MINKE WHALE

The common minke whale is the smallest of the nine species of rorquals, which is a group of baleen whales which has the little lines running down their jaw. Despite being the smallest of these whales, they are around 8-9 m long at their full adult size. I also really like the white arm band they have, as well as the patterns of coloration on their back. Minke whales are especially known for having fishy breath (I don't know why this is shocking. If eat fish and no toothpaste available, breath smell like fish? Surely?)

This whale reminds me of the song Porch Light by Noah Kahan.

SEI WHALE

Sei whales are another species of rorqual! They have some really cool tapeworms of the genus Tetrabothrius. They also have crazy long migrations, going from subpolar waters to warm and temperate waters. Some whales will go from Northern Canada to the coast of West Africa during their migrations (very far). If the sei whale was a song, they'd be Duality by Slipknot.

HUMPBACK WHALE

I like humpback whales, they remind me of humpback chubs (SHOUTOUT TO NATIVE ARIZONA FISH!!!) Yet again, humpback whales are rorquals. They also have cool parasites, most notably including the whale louse Cyamus boopis. I love that name. This species only lives on humpback whales, and is typically found near their genital slits.

If the humpback whale was a song, they'd be The Governor's Waltz by Phoebe Bridgers.

how I feel coming down a wall when I'm belayed

ORCA

Pardon my language, orcas are badasses. I love orcas. They are such intelligent, incredible creatures. They are notably not whales, but actually dolphins. Technically, though, dolphins are whales, so I suppose they are both. As a neuro nerd, it pleases me very greatly to say that orcas have more gray matter than any mammal. That's so freaking cool!

If orcas were a song, they'd be Dilbar by Kakkar et al.

BELUGA

I love belugas! I got to see the belugas at Mystic aquarium, was incredible. Belugas are not only the only member of the genus Delphinapterus. Belugas are known for a lysosomal storage disease causing neurological issues in their species.

If belugas were a song, they'd be Kismat by Bloodywood.

CUVIER'S BEAKED WHALE

Cuvier's beaked whale is a dolphin-shaped whale. This species is really cool, and one of the cetaceans I most want to see in the duration of my life. They are the mammal with the deepest ever recorded dive. Even though they are odontocets, only males end up actually getting erupted teeth- and they also sometimes sorta get tusks? But not really? Covert walrus behavior.

If Cuvier's beaked whale was a song, they'd be Mother Nature by the Hu.

TUSKS??!??!

An absolute dream come true would be not just to see any of these species in the wild, but to study them or work with them in the capacity as a veterinarian. Unfortunately, I am but a wee 18 year old as yet.

On the topic of whales, I must now take leave of y'all to go to Wales.